2004-09-23 - 7:02 p.m. - communication barriers

I have been silent far too long, but I guess that resonates with my life recently. Prior to yesterday, I wasn't able to communicate by phone since I didn't have a phone or service, but last night I made 2 calls to my family, and it felt great to hear their voices and be a part of their worlds again.

I just got a computer and internet service in my apartment a week ago, but the internet has been down more than it has been working, so I'm still way behind in responding personally to emails.

And I still say "hablo espaņol un pocito" all the time which pretty much limits my conversation with non-English speakers. But today I feel like I had a breakthrough. The woman who cleans my classroom after school speaks only Spanish, and she was chatting away, and I actually understood the gist of what she was saying!!! I even bumbled my way through a couple of responses using my limited Spanish and lots of hand motions (you'd think I was speaking Italian!) And she understood me!!!! Wahoo! A small victory!!!! "little steps, little steps" I keep telling myself.

I guess both %%diary-floodtide%%'s and %%diary-seastreet%%'s entries today about people needing to communicate something also struck a chord with me.

I love language, but sometimes it does get in the way of what we're trying to say. At times I wish I really could do the Vulcan mind meld so people would really understand my thoughts. Or better yet, a heart meld, so they could feel what I'm feeling since words and even actions can be misunderstood.

I have an image of jumping through one of those sieves that I used to play with on the beach to sift sand. I'd jump through the wire mesh, and left behind in the sieve would be all the words that were trying to communicate...all the thoughts that were trying to translate...all the emotions that were trying to hide what I really wanted to say.

What would be left?? All that I couldn't leave behind....hopefully just me...reaching out to you...enlightened by love...so much so...that nothing else even matters.

30-something - 2005-03-01
the holding back the the flow of tears - 2005-02-20
song survey - 2005-02-15
song for the day...or perhaps the year... - 2005-01-25
something new - 2005-01-24
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