2004-01-26 - 11:43 p.m. - never under-estimate the power of google

I was getting ready for bed and decided I’d jump on-line briefly…while there I decided to check out to see if I’d gotten any hits within the last couple of days on my diaryland page. Amazingly enough, I had gotten about 6 today and a few yesterday. That’s a lot for me, but what I found a bit uncomfortable for me at first is that all of today’s hits were from local people!!!! Yikes! I’m being found out either local "Merchant of Venice" fans and/or the cast themselves. And while part of me is saying, "Well, what do you expect when you write a journal and post it on-line???? Why do you post it on-line? Is it that important for others to read your intimate thoughts and inane ramblings???"

Well, I guess it is – I think it makes me feel less alone. I’m putting thoughts and ideas on-line knowing full well that they might get read, and the only thing that comes to mind in terms of how I feel about that is a line from the Love and Rockets song, "No New Tale To Tell". It goes like this:

"My world is your world

People like to hear their names

I’m no exception

Please call my name

Call my name"

Not that anyone is calling my name, but they are reading my words and somehow that makes me feel less lonely. Not that I’ve been feeling all that lonely lately, but I do at times and when I do the power of the net, in its isolation, somehow connects us. That seems a bit of a paradox…

In any case, here’s how I see it all happening from the google hits my site got. I’m guessing that yesterday someone from Hungary was wondering how R. Alfodi’s "Merchant of Venice" is being received here in the U.S. They google it and amazingly enough get to my site. They read my "review" and I put that in quotes given that I haven’t a clue as to how to review plays, but I know what I like and I know I was moved (albeit not always comfortably) by the play. The person in Hungary emails someone here in Portland to tell him/her about a review on-line. I got a couple of more hits yesterday and the 6 today. Now they’re googling about the name of the actor whose balls I commented on – they really are nice, but I blush when I say this. They are also reading my "review" (notice quotes again) of Hedwig which I saw (yes, I confess – 4 times!!!) and how I love Wade McCollum – his artistry that is – I have total respect and admiration for the amazing actor he is.

So why the feeling of embarrassment? I don’t know…I guess I’m just a bit shy. That and I really hope I didn’t offend anyone…

If "this writer hath" offended,

Think but this, and all is mended:

That you have but slumb'red here,

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme,

No more yielding but a dream. (5.1.409-14)

For we all know, this physical world is nothing but an illusion, and it is our collective spirit who desires to be One again…

30-something - 2005-03-01
the holding back the the flow of tears - 2005-02-20
song survey - 2005-02-15
song for the day...or perhaps the year... - 2005-01-25
something new - 2005-01-24
">next